The following is documentation of my tardiness to work on friday. My supervisor requests documentation for any tardiness or absence. This usually consists of one or two lines, no complete sentences required, blah blah blah...
I, personally, think I am brilliant, clever, and have excellent writting skills. Let's all say a prayer that she doesn't think its a good excuse to send me to the unemployement office. :)
Friday July 22, 2005 I, Leah ****, was approximately twenty minutes late to work. Although there is no good reason for being late and one should not offer excuses, I would like to take this time to explain my reasons.
The morning of July 22nd started out like many of my mornings. As I woke up to prepare for my day, my roommate stealthily commanded control of the bathroom that we share. I put off my morning preparations that require the usage of this room and went about my business. However, what I was not prepared for was the EXTENDED amount of time my roommate would take in said shared bathroom. On most morning, he has vacated the premises at least ten minutes before my scheduled departure time. Unfortunately, 'the powers that be' decided that we would both be tardy this doomed and dreadful morning. Approximately five minutes before I had to leave, my roommate gave way to our shared space and fled the house, fearing the wrath that is me before coffee. I made up for as much time as possible by performing such feats as 'power brushing' and even decided to forego the ever important "Listerine Wake-Up Call" that I perform most mornings. Quickly rushing to gather my final belongings before leaving the house, quickly checking to assure daytime safety for my pet cat, quickly- NNNNOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! 3 bean, meat-less chili all over the dinning room table! Oh the travesty! So, with my super-human cleaning powers, I wipe the table clean, I throw away all napkins and now-disgusting sponges harmed in the cleaning process. "Eww.. what's that on my arm??" Gross.
At this point I'm frazzled and upset at my Friday morning. Oh yeah, and a little bitter.
Quickly but carefully I leave the house and into my car, I go! Engines- check. Seatbelt- check. Emergency Brake- deactivated. And we're off!!
As I pass the neighbor and give him the obligatory neighborly hand-wave, another dark cloud settles over my life. This cloud in particular was in the form of a little orange gas station pump, just to the right of my speedometer. In my post-work daze the previous evening, I had failed to notice that I was getting low on gas.
So, the moral dilemma begins. Can I make it to work? With stopping and traffic, will this final gallon of gas guide me to my final destination of the VCIE? Maybe with the hand of God, giving a little push to my car's backside..... Grr.... I have to go to the gas station.
Upon arrival of my nearest filing station, I was happy to see only a few cars. Hoping to make this as fast of a detour as possible, I collect a five dollar bill from my wallet and hurry inside. However, even with my hurried attitude, that pesky little rain cloud followed. It became apparent to be that the attendant on duty and the customer ahead of me in line were best of friends after waiting literally three minutes for them to finish their conversation about such important things as what the customer would be having for lunch that day (which, by the way, gave me hope that she would actually LEAVE before lunchtime) and where our friendly gas station attendant would be going on her date that night. After quickly paying and resisting all urges of violence towards said employee, I pumped my tank and left.
To contradict the law of Murphy, my drive through Reche Canyon and parts of San Bernardino were pleasant, smooth, and timely. However, not even that lovely drive could prevent my ultimate unacceptable tardiness to work.
As you may know already, my life should from henceforth be referred to as, a comedy of errors. As you shouldn't know unless you were spying on me this weekend, I have moved most of my morning bathroom products into the downstairs bathroom, should my roommate decide to take forever getting ready. Also, the meat-less chili and I are still in a fight so it shouldn't be a problem seeing as I've decided to boycott. My final attempt to avoid being late will be an on-going project. This project will consist of me not zoning out on my evening commute and being more proactive about keeping a respectable amount of gas in my tank at all times.
In summary, because of roommate confusion, inadequate lunch preparation, and having to stop at the gas station- I was late to work on Friday. My sincerest apologies and hopes for better luck next time.
Americorps* VISTA Member
Disaster Preparedness and Homeland Security
Seriously, what is wrong with me??? I love myself. I want a martini now...
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